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 Yo mamma Jokes

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Sly Fox
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PostSubject: Yo mamma Jokes   Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:55 pm

i got this idea when I couldn't think of any more momma jokes. Now we can tell each other random mamma jokes. So send some yo mamm a jokes my way. We can also use them on our enemies
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:09 pm

Yo mama so fat Onyx people have to run around here to get exercise
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 13, 2009 8:01 pm

ok thats gay
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 13, 2009 9:06 pm

Yo mama so fat cuz your yo mama jokes are bad

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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:02 pm

ahahahahahahahahaha nice 1
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:07 pm

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.



thats all i have lol i googled it



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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:09 pm

your momma so fat her pants come in epic larg uuber larg and bitch lose some weight ahahahahahahahahaha
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:12 pm

Yo mama is so stupid

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read

Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:16 pm

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:18 pm

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.

Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:20 pm

OWNED(or served)
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:25 pm

Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:26 pm




Yo mama is so old

Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:42 pm

Out of all that you forgot about yo mamma so fat when she wears a rain jacket people yell taxi
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:41 pm

yo mamma so fat, when she's in a room, shes all AROUND the room

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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Wed Feb 18, 2009 7:48 pm

Yo mamma is like a pirate there she blows.
Yo mama so fat when she sit down we have to add another country to the map
Yo Mama so ugly when she was a baby they stuck her in a corner and fed her with a slingshot.
Yo mam so ugly she grabbed for the remote and it jumped off the couch
Yo mama is so fat she has three shirt sizes, jumbo, humongus, and "OH
MY GOD IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!!"
Yo mama so poor i saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing she said moving.
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so damn stupid on a job application it said "sex" and she wrote Monday wednesday and sometimes friday.
from
Yo mama such a dirty whore that they're having to paternity test the whole state of Texas just to find out who yo daddy is!
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:04 pm

Yo mamma so old that in the back seat of your car, kids don't say 'Are we there yet', they scream, 'Is she Dead yet!'
Yo mama smells so bad, when she went to make friends with a skunk, the skunk got hit by a truck on purpose!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a bathroom and nearly pissed her
pants
Yo mama so fat her logo is "we are family, burger king, mc donalds and
me..."
Yo mama so fat she has all the food caterers on speed dial
Yo mama is so big she tripped over wal-mart and landed on target and evey time she passes by the t.v. i miss a season of friends
Yo mama so poor that when i stepped on a cigarette she cried, hey, who turned off the heater.
Your sister is so ugly she reminds me of your mom.
Yo mamma so ugly, yo daddy would rather kiss her ass before going work everyday
Your moms so ugly the mailman mistacked her as the dog
You mama so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine
This is a fact, yo mama's breath Is wack, she needs a tic, not a tac, but the whole damn pack
I don't mean to be mean, but yo mama needs listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole damn bottle.
Yo Mama's teeth are so yellow, cars slow down when she smiles!
Yo Mama's breath is so bad, she made a tic tac run away!
Your jokes are so corny that the corns on your toes got jealous.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for 1st degree murder.
Yo mama like a fast food restaraunt - quick and easy!!!
Yo moma is so fat when it rains she uses a highway for a slip 'n' slide
Yo mamma so damn fat that when she traveled back to the dinosaur times and she took a step the dinosaurs said what the hell is happing...oh sh*t its a real damn earthquake.
Your mama so stupid when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thought she was in hell.
Yo Momma's so ugly, even Sloth from the Goonies wouldn't date her.
Yo mama like a shotgun - five cocks and shes loaded
Yo' mamma so ugly she got arrested for vandalizing a mirror shop.
Yo Mamma so damn ugly she makes Anne Ramsey look like J Lo.
Yo mama like nascar - two rubbers and shes ready to ride.
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind man cry!
Yo mamma so old, fat and hairy, that when she took you to the zoo the zookeepers thought a silverback Gorilla had abducted you!
Yo mama so fat, that when u were born, they had 2 send out a search party to find ya!
Yo mama soooo ugly, she works as a double for Saddam Hussein
Yo mama so0o0o fat, one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling, "Hey, the School Bus is here!"
Listen buddy, your mommy is so freakin dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone, she'd tell her momma to put mick jagger on child support!
Yo Momma so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby.
Hey, yo momma so damn fat when her beeper goes off people turn around to see if she is backin up!!
Yo mama's so damn fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton!
You so ugly when a friend walked you into school the teachers said sorry no pets aloud!
Yo Mama's so damn ugly that she turned your dad gay.
Yo Mamas so damn greasy that she has to use bacon for a bandaid.
Yo' mama so dumb she got locked inside Matress World and slept on the floor.
Yomomma so hairy that when she puts her arm to her side it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:01 pm

ya moms so fat that when she went bungie-jumping she took the bridge with her





ur mums so fat when u drive around her, its christmas again Smile





ya moms so fat that when she turns around its her birthday





ya moms so fat that when she walked in front the TV we missed 60 minutes





ya mum is so fat when she was cleaning the cages at the zoo people said look at that hip-hop-poddomuss






yo mommas sooooooooooooooooooooooo fat her stomach has different time zones





ya mumas so stupid she got trapped in a wolworthes store and starved to death...





ya mumas so stupid she got trapped in a captain snooze and slept on da floor...






ya mumas so stupid she got trapped in the toilet and she wet her pants...






yo momma so dum she agreed to DJ for an ice cream truck





yo mumma so dum she dedicated her life to finish climbing a clear wall to see what was on the other side







ya mum is so fat she wears the eqeator 4 a belt





yo mama so dumb she shoved a 9 volt battery up her butt and said i got the power





your mums so fat, she had to go to sea world to get baptised




yo mama is so fat wen she drifted out 2 sea people thought she was an island





yo mama is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:02 pm

Yo mama is so stupid she thinks that aroma is someone who does a lot of travelling.




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Your mama is so fat she fills up the bath tub, and THEN turns on the water.




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Yo' mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise!




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Yo' mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard!




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Yo' mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice!




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Yo' mama's so old, her memory is in black and white!




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Yo' mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince!




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Yo' mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her!




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Yo' mama's so ugly, when she goes to the beach, the tide won't come in!




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yo' mama's so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:04 pm

Your momma's like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows, and lays in the closet.

Your momma's like a toilet, she's so full of shit.

Your momma's like a hardware store 5 cents a screw

Your momma's like a squirell, she can't keep nuts out of her mouth.

Your momma's like a buffet, $3.00 and it's all you can eat!

Your momma's like buckleys, she tastes bad but works

Your momma's like a doorknob everyone gets a turn.

Your momma's like a light switch even a 4 Year old can turn her on.

Your momma's like a refrigerator, every one sticks there meet in her

Your momma's like a nascar driver she burns fifty rubbers a day

Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow

Your momma's like a hockey puck everyone gets a whack!

Your momma's like a merry go round everyone gets a spin!

Your momma's like a bus everyone gets a ride!

Your momma's like a boomeramg she keeps coming back for more.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:05 pm

Your mama is so fat she steps on a dollar bill and makes change

Yo momma so fat when i tryed to walk around her i got lost.

Your momma is so fat that when she puts on her red t-shirt she runs through brick walls yellin', "Kool-Aid!"

Yo mama so fat when she died and went to heaven lord asked where did my light go???

Your momma is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck

Your momma's so fat , she uses Mexico as a tanning bed.

Yo momma's so fat when she sings theres a earthquake

your mamma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be continued

Yo momma's so fat that she makes a sumo wresler look like an arexion.

Yo momma's so fat that when it rains she where's a yellow jacket and everyone yells taxi.

Yo mamma is so ugly and fat when she went out side the kids said run its a dinosour!!!

Yo momma's ass is so big that when she sits down she's three feet taller.

Your mama's so fat...that when god said let there be light...she moved!!!

Your mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it read the air heads motto "Out Of Control"

Yo mumma so fat she got stopted at da airport for havin 200 punds of crack
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:05 pm

Your momma's so dumb she thought the computer screen saver was TV

Your momma's so dumb that when she jumped out of a window she went up

Your momma's so dumb she got hit by a parked car

Your momma's so dumb she heard someone say it was chilli outside so she ran and grabbed a bowl

Your momma's so dumb she thought a telephone was a phone for the T.V

Your momma's so dumb she thinks a quarterback is a refund

Your momma's so dumb she tried to kill herself by jumping out of the basement window

Your momma's so dumb the computer said press any key to continue and she was looking for the any key

Your momma's so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

Your momma's so dumb it took her an hour to make minute rice

Your momma's so dumb she stayed up all night studying for her blood test

Your momma's so dumb I caught her staring at a piece of paper. She sait it was Pay-Per View

Your momma's so dumb when your dad suggested doggy style she went out the back and started to lick her balls
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:06 pm

Your momma's so smelly even sewer rats get out of her way.

Your momma's so smelly that the only dis I'm gonna give her is Disinfectent...

Your momma's so smelly even dogs dont smell her.

Your momma's so smelly she wiz playin in my Sand Box and the cat came along and buried her.

Your momma's so smelly she made Right Guard go left.

Your momma's so Smelly her poops glad to escape.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:06 pm

Yo Mama's so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a mexican phone company

Yo Mama's so stupid I asked her to buy me a pare of sneakers and she came back with 2 candy bars.

Yo Mama's so stupid because it too her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo Mama's so stupid when she heard someone say it was chille outside,she went and grabbed a size 20 bowl.

Yo Mama's so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

Yo Mama's so stupid when i said drinks are on the house she went and fetched a ladder.

Yo Mama's so stupid she got locked in Matress World and slepped on the floor.
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PostSubject: Re: Yo mamma Jokes   Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:07 pm

Your momma's so greasy she got a job at the cinema - buttering popcorn with her leg hair.

Your momma's so greasy the chip shop uses her sweat as Deep Fry.

Your momma's so greasy her idea of bottled water is the left over oil slime from a bacon, sausage and egg fry up.

Your momma's so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid.

Your momma's so greasy her freckles slipped off.

Your momma's so greasy she sweats butter, syrup, excretes jam...and has a full time job at the 'Pancake Palace' wiping pancakes across her forhead.
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